How can it be 5 years without you?

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We've just been on our 3rd  family holiday without you, Dominic.

It is bittersweet always now.
When we laugh there's a sadness behind the laughter. Wherever we visit we think how much or how little you would like the area, and the activity.
Where we stayed this time would have been perfect for you other than the fact it wasn't adapted. A farmhouse in the middle of fields, no noise. A lake next to it which you could have got round in your wheelchair. Water sports on the lake which you would have loved to watch. Yes, it was your kind of place.
We visited Felixstowe which you also would have loved. A long esplanade along the beach front, lots of things going on, ferries in the distance leaving from Harwich and Felixstowe docks. If you had been with us we would have gone to the docks. You would have loved that.

Had some tears one day like I always do. I miss you so much. When we went away we always spent so much time together.... We ALWAYS spent alot of time together but holidays were special. No school runs, housework etc. Just us enjoying each others company and ours and Auntie Lynn's family.

And now I'm back home and we are in August... And the countdown begins to what would have been your 30th birthday on the 23rd and the 5th anniversary of losing you on 28th after spending all of that August in and out of hospital.
I hate August now. I hate a lot of things now.
Life is something to get through now... Not enjoy.💔😞



Louth August 2017







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