The vicars funeral narrative about Dominic
I have decided to share the vicars narrative about Dominic from his funeral. The vicar, Caroline, had known my family since 2002 as we used to attend church when we lived in Garston, Watford. I had always hoped in the back of my mind (in the dark place that my thoughts would wander to against my will) that when the time came it would be Caroline who performed the service. We lost touch but thanks to Facebook I found her and she travelled all the way from Guildford to perform the service for which I will be eternally grateful. She did Dominic justice and her words brought smiles and tears to the huge amount of people present.
Anyway...This was it
Dominic
--------------
Dominic, with his unfailing, gentle smile was the sunshine in many, many people’s lives. And his contentment was an example to everyone who knew him, of how to be completely satisfied by the simple things in life. There was a sense of restfulness, happiness and a glow of love that always surrounded him wherever he was and whoever he was with. Dominic touched people’s hearts and they loved to be around him so that a little bit of his contentment could rub off on them. And Dominic knew he was loved.
Dominic was a gift from the moment he was born. A gift to his Mummy, Kaye, to his Auntie Lynn and then to his younger siblings Vanessa, Emily and Ben whose antics he found hilarious when they were toddlers. He was a gift to his Father, Mike, who he always looked forward to seeing on his visits from Cyprus. And he was a gift to Jamie his stepfather and his friend who helped care for him over the past 15 years or so.
In fact Dominic was a gift to the world, a kind of celebrity, as his brother Ben describes it. If a celebrity is someone who everyone feels they know and love, however distant their acquaintance with the person is, then Dominic certainly was one.
Dominic loved the people in his life and would notice and miss them if they weren’t at home, so if, say, Ben was missing he’d repeatedly say ‘Ben’ ‘Ben’ and if it was Emily just the same … ‘Emily’ ‘Emily’ and so on with all the family especially Mummy who he liked to have at home all the time.
As well as the people who were important in his life there were lots of other things he loved: listening to the birds singing in the garden, sitting in the sun (though this was him being cheeky because he knew he was supposed to sit in the shade), watching videos especially Disney ones, watching people (not just his own close family but also his cousins Holly and Jack and people everywhere he went), he loved watching the dogs at home when they played and listening to music. He had a great sense of humour and he got very excited and would make happy, cheerful noises. He enjoyed slapstick humour so people could make him laugh by being silly (especially his Uncle Alex) and he’d be excited and happy at bits of his favourite films. Coco was his most recent favourite film.
And there were places in Dominic’s life that were important to him as well: one of these was Watling View School which he loved from day one when he went there at the age of six and found a place where he belonged, a place where he fitted and where he was a person. He had twelve very happy years there. And Dominic enjoyed the nights he stayed at Tanners Wood for respite too. And then there was Oakmere Community Centre where he went four days a week and where he and George, his one-to-one helper, found true friendship. It was here that Dominic discovered the fun of rooms being decorated for Halloween and Christmas which started a great tradition of his family spending hours decking out his bedroom at home in October and December – he’d come into the room and find it transformed and the look of pleasure on his face would be a picture to behold and would certainly make all the work worthwhile.
Dominic’s very favourite time of year was Christmas. He loved the run-up to Christmas, the decorations, the lights, the Christmas Carols – everything about it. And he always knew that on the day after he’d opened his presents there would be one of his favourite days of the year – Boxing Day with its visit to Julie and Uncle Dick’s for another Christmas dinner with extended family.
The December holiday that he had with Kaye at Centre Parcs last year was really special for him; he and Kaye watched Christmas films during the mornings, did lots of nice Christmassy things together and enjoyed the Christmas lights and decorations after dark. At the end of each day of this holiday Dominic looked really content and happy and this will always be remembered by Kaye as a last very special personal time alone with her boy. She had booked to do the same this December coming.
Dominic always loved his holidays. The only trouble was he got so excited about going on holiday that he wouldn’t sleep for days beforehand so he could only be told on the morning they were going. But no wonder he got excited, there were always new experiences for him – train rides, a tram ride and boat trips as well as the quiet contentment of being in a different place. He also loved day trips to Whipsnade where the family often went, and he even made it onto the London Eye.
Dominic understood a lot of what was going on around him and surprised even his family sometimes with how he was able to respond in context – ask his family about the tractor story – perhaps not one to tell here. When he was travelling in the car he recognised routes and he’d respond according to whether the driver had taken a turn towards somewhere he liked going or towards somewhere he didn’t like. His wheelchair was really important to him and he could move himself around in it really efficiently; at home looking in on the family in the living room, sneaking into the sunshine at the bottom of his garden when he knew he should stay in the shade, and back to his special room full of colour and all the things that he loved and things that people had given him: Disney toys, mobiles on the ceiling, posters and pictures. Dominic’s wheelchair will stay with the family as a happy memory; he did so much in it, even slept in it for the last few years and it was a hugely positive part of his life.
He had extraordinary strength of character (my observation is that he inherited this from his amazing mother). He had to go through many procedures and hospitalizations but he rarely got annoyed or upset about being in hospital, and he accepted injections and invasive treatments without complaint despite the fact that he probably didn’t understand that it was all to help him. He always looked forward to his stays in Queens Square hospital for his health MOTs as it gave him time alone with Kaye. A further indication of his strong character is that for years he slept with the biPap machine to assist his breathing – something that’s really difficult for anyone to get used to.
Dominic was unique. He brought something special and wonderful into people’s lives and he was loved wherever he went with his infectious genuine smile and gentle nature. His hair dresser, Kim, cut his beautiful dark curls for 18 years and developed a close relationship with him and so did his carers who loved him and some who, in spite of having left the care agency, continued to care for him because he was so special. The staff at Queens Square hospital and in the Acute Admissions Unit at Watford General hospital became attached to him, though it was very sad that Dominic had to spend so much time in the latter in recent years. People would always comment on how handsome he was and on his beautiful lovely, dark curly hair. Many of the people whose lives Dominic touched over the years have stayed in touch or become family friends.
Kaye feels sorry for anyone who didn’t have Dominic in their life and that he accomplished more in his life than most people ever do. He found peace and happiness and didn’t need anything to find that other than his family, people who he cared about, and the world and nature around him. Kaye and Dominic had a unique bond that everyone commented on, a bond that was more than mother and son and that was plain to see. Kaye has the last word, she describes him as perfect; there was nothing at all that she would have changed about her darling boy.
Anyway...This was it
Dominic
--------------
Dominic, with his unfailing, gentle smile was the sunshine in many, many people’s lives. And his contentment was an example to everyone who knew him, of how to be completely satisfied by the simple things in life. There was a sense of restfulness, happiness and a glow of love that always surrounded him wherever he was and whoever he was with. Dominic touched people’s hearts and they loved to be around him so that a little bit of his contentment could rub off on them. And Dominic knew he was loved.
Dominic was a gift from the moment he was born. A gift to his Mummy, Kaye, to his Auntie Lynn and then to his younger siblings Vanessa, Emily and Ben whose antics he found hilarious when they were toddlers. He was a gift to his Father, Mike, who he always looked forward to seeing on his visits from Cyprus. And he was a gift to Jamie his stepfather and his friend who helped care for him over the past 15 years or so.
In fact Dominic was a gift to the world, a kind of celebrity, as his brother Ben describes it. If a celebrity is someone who everyone feels they know and love, however distant their acquaintance with the person is, then Dominic certainly was one.
Dominic loved the people in his life and would notice and miss them if they weren’t at home, so if, say, Ben was missing he’d repeatedly say ‘Ben’ ‘Ben’ and if it was Emily just the same … ‘Emily’ ‘Emily’ and so on with all the family especially Mummy who he liked to have at home all the time.
As well as the people who were important in his life there were lots of other things he loved: listening to the birds singing in the garden, sitting in the sun (though this was him being cheeky because he knew he was supposed to sit in the shade), watching videos especially Disney ones, watching people (not just his own close family but also his cousins Holly and Jack and people everywhere he went), he loved watching the dogs at home when they played and listening to music. He had a great sense of humour and he got very excited and would make happy, cheerful noises. He enjoyed slapstick humour so people could make him laugh by being silly (especially his Uncle Alex) and he’d be excited and happy at bits of his favourite films. Coco was his most recent favourite film.
And there were places in Dominic’s life that were important to him as well: one of these was Watling View School which he loved from day one when he went there at the age of six and found a place where he belonged, a place where he fitted and where he was a person. He had twelve very happy years there. And Dominic enjoyed the nights he stayed at Tanners Wood for respite too. And then there was Oakmere Community Centre where he went four days a week and where he and George, his one-to-one helper, found true friendship. It was here that Dominic discovered the fun of rooms being decorated for Halloween and Christmas which started a great tradition of his family spending hours decking out his bedroom at home in October and December – he’d come into the room and find it transformed and the look of pleasure on his face would be a picture to behold and would certainly make all the work worthwhile.
Dominic’s very favourite time of year was Christmas. He loved the run-up to Christmas, the decorations, the lights, the Christmas Carols – everything about it. And he always knew that on the day after he’d opened his presents there would be one of his favourite days of the year – Boxing Day with its visit to Julie and Uncle Dick’s for another Christmas dinner with extended family.
The December holiday that he had with Kaye at Centre Parcs last year was really special for him; he and Kaye watched Christmas films during the mornings, did lots of nice Christmassy things together and enjoyed the Christmas lights and decorations after dark. At the end of each day of this holiday Dominic looked really content and happy and this will always be remembered by Kaye as a last very special personal time alone with her boy. She had booked to do the same this December coming.
Dominic always loved his holidays. The only trouble was he got so excited about going on holiday that he wouldn’t sleep for days beforehand so he could only be told on the morning they were going. But no wonder he got excited, there were always new experiences for him – train rides, a tram ride and boat trips as well as the quiet contentment of being in a different place. He also loved day trips to Whipsnade where the family often went, and he even made it onto the London Eye.
Dominic understood a lot of what was going on around him and surprised even his family sometimes with how he was able to respond in context – ask his family about the tractor story – perhaps not one to tell here. When he was travelling in the car he recognised routes and he’d respond according to whether the driver had taken a turn towards somewhere he liked going or towards somewhere he didn’t like. His wheelchair was really important to him and he could move himself around in it really efficiently; at home looking in on the family in the living room, sneaking into the sunshine at the bottom of his garden when he knew he should stay in the shade, and back to his special room full of colour and all the things that he loved and things that people had given him: Disney toys, mobiles on the ceiling, posters and pictures. Dominic’s wheelchair will stay with the family as a happy memory; he did so much in it, even slept in it for the last few years and it was a hugely positive part of his life.
He had extraordinary strength of character (my observation is that he inherited this from his amazing mother). He had to go through many procedures and hospitalizations but he rarely got annoyed or upset about being in hospital, and he accepted injections and invasive treatments without complaint despite the fact that he probably didn’t understand that it was all to help him. He always looked forward to his stays in Queens Square hospital for his health MOTs as it gave him time alone with Kaye. A further indication of his strong character is that for years he slept with the biPap machine to assist his breathing – something that’s really difficult for anyone to get used to.
Dominic was unique. He brought something special and wonderful into people’s lives and he was loved wherever he went with his infectious genuine smile and gentle nature. His hair dresser, Kim, cut his beautiful dark curls for 18 years and developed a close relationship with him and so did his carers who loved him and some who, in spite of having left the care agency, continued to care for him because he was so special. The staff at Queens Square hospital and in the Acute Admissions Unit at Watford General hospital became attached to him, though it was very sad that Dominic had to spend so much time in the latter in recent years. People would always comment on how handsome he was and on his beautiful lovely, dark curly hair. Many of the people whose lives Dominic touched over the years have stayed in touch or become family friends.
Kaye feels sorry for anyone who didn’t have Dominic in their life and that he accomplished more in his life than most people ever do. He found peace and happiness and didn’t need anything to find that other than his family, people who he cared about, and the world and nature around him. Kaye and Dominic had a unique bond that everyone commented on, a bond that was more than mother and son and that was plain to see. Kaye has the last word, she describes him as perfect; there was nothing at all that she would have changed about her darling boy.
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